I generally don’t follow the “new year, new me” crush that comes with the calendar change…I know that, while I am constantly evolving as a person, the turn of a page isn’t going to create any more of a push to change than I have had at any other point in the year. I’ve spent the last few months thinking about meal planning and joining the gym; being more proactive with meeting new people or making an effort to not procrastinate so much…These are always in my mind and I feel almost as though trying to enact them on the first is doing them a disservice because, frankly, many people abandon New Years resolutions before they ever become a habit. This is not to say there isn’t merit in trying to improve oneself but I suppose I feel that a resolution would be going the wrong way about it for me.
That being said, I do have a list(one of my other favorite things!) of things I, or my son, would like to do this year such as; places to see, books to read, and things to learn or do. It is an ongoing compilation that I’m forever adding to and am currently on the hunt for a master notebook to keep track of them.
What I have noticed this year, that I hadn’t before(and that is not to say it hasn’t been around, more so that I have just been oblivious), is the shift to finding a word or phrase to focus on as a means to self efficacy.
I have a love affair with words(grammar and punctuation, not so much!). So this take on self enhancement was incredibly appealing and more manageable than the traditional outlet.
So for this year, my focus is on finding harmony and feeling worthy.
Well, I’m busy to say the least. Between adult-ing, mom-ing, school, work, home, hobbies and all of that other things that come with life, I have so much on the go at any given time that it can be challenging to get them to work cohesively. So finding a way to accomplish this is key to my happiness and sanity. Hence, finding harmony(and the creation of this blog!).
As for “feeling worthy”, this actually came from a conversation with God. I was in church last Sunday and my Pastor asked us to ask God for a message. “You are worthy” was what I heard. I actually argued this for a minute or so before being overcome with the depth of that command. So often we give of ourselves and struggle to accept the same in return. The honest truth is that I don’t feel I am worth others love, and time. As a mom, and woman, this is expected. As a (future) social worker, this is expected. In almost every role in life, I am expected to give without expecting or feeling worthy of anything in return, even from other area’s of my life where most would expect and accept it, whether that be friends, partners, etc.
So I resolve to start asking myself “is what I am doing is bringing harmony to my life” and to remind myself that “I am worthy” of all the world has to offer. We will have to see how effective this is.
Do you make resolutions? Have you been able to stick to them thus far(or in previous years)?
Do you have a focus for this coming year?
Do you have a favorite durable notebook for master lists?
Thank you for reading!